Brian's Posts

Hello, friends. Yesterday marks the six-month anniversary of my aortic aneurysm repair and valve replacement. I thought I'd give an update, especially for any of you that may be at the start of your heart journey and are filled with anxiety about the unknown, as I was. Spoiler alert: while it was a difficult recovery at the start, it got so, so much better. I'll tell you about it, along with a couple of truths I've learned. The first month was, as I have journaled here, not great. Less than a week after returning home, I had to be re-hospitalized with a pericardial effusion and aFib. The fluid in the sac around my heart needed to be drained, and my heart brought back into rhythm. My lowest moment was two days before my heart converted back to normal: I recall holding on to my wife Mary on the end of the bed, sobbing. I was convinced my life moving forward would be a limited one, lurching from one complication to the next. My doctors were outstanding the whole way, explaining that complications were to be expected. Before I was discharged, I asked my attending physician what kind of recovery I could expect. I still remember is exact words: "your recovery will depend upon your activity." That, folks, is truth #1. Truth number 2 is comes from Marc Wallace's book "Back to Life after a Heart Crisis." In it, he details an eight-point plan for getting back to being you. Step 8 is to "Train for a Huge Physical Challenge." Activity towards a defined, committed goal is always more effective than movement for movement's sake. After talking to my family and my doctors, I developed a two-phase plan to get back to the two hobbies I loved: theatre and baseball. I was already committed to a role in "Sweeney Todd," but I learned during recovery that auditions were coming up for "The Producers," a musical adapted from Mel Brooks' first film. People, I LOVE this story. I've loved it since I was 19 years old and came across the original 1967 film in a directing class. So even though I was committed to one performance, I auditioned with the hope that both companies could make their rehearsal schedules work to accommodate me. Lo and behold, I was cast in the lead role of Max. My huge physical challenge was in place. I started rehearsals for both productions at roughly the same time. In the beginning, I was still taking a lot of medications resulting from my aFib and effusion issues: anti-arrhythmia meds, anti-inflammatories, blood thinners, beta blockers - pretty much the whole spectrum of post-surgery prescriptions. They made rehearsing somewhat difficult; for example, if scene choreography required me to rapidly cross a stage, I'd get very light-headed and found singing immediately afterwards a challenge. But eventually I was told to discontinue the heavier doses, and the issue resolved itself. On September 6, five months and four days after surgery, "The Producers" opened. We ran 8 performances in two weeks, including double-shows on Saturdays. It was glorious. One reviewer commented on my performance that "if you need to test Ruff's stamina, he delivers tenfold." This weekend, "Sweeney Todd" completes its final weekend, where I will play Judge Turpin two more times. In the programs of both shows, I dedicated my performance to my health care team and my family. Phase 1 of recovery is finished. It was hard, but so worth it. With the exception of the occasional soreness in the sternum, everything is back to normal. Scratch that - it's better. My ability to hold a note while singing is significantly better than before. Training for musical theatre has left me more flexible and with better core strength than prior to surgery. This coming Monday, phase 2 starts - training to get back to playing baseball. I'm not sure how that will go. Despite having a rebuilt engine, I'm still carrying around a 52 year-old chassis, complete with a worn-out throwing shoulder. Regardless, we'll find out. This was a much longer update than I expected, but if you've read this far, I hope all is well with you, and if you are indeed one of those folks at the start of the long road that is recovering from a heart crisis, please know that I was terrified at the beginning, despondent a month afterwards, but was ultimately saved by three things: activity, having a goal, and being surrounded by people who believed I could accomplish it. May you find your activity, your why, and your people - and nothing can stop you.