Ronese's Guestbook

Hi Well I can understand your apprehension as I had it too before I decided on my surgeon. The first one I saw just didn't appeal to me personally, but when I had my second opinion and met this new surgeon I was so happy that I was getting him - I had confidence in him and his plans for my surgery and once I had that appointment and told the first doctor I wasn't going to have him do my surgery - peace came over me. I can't imagine having to have 2 surgeries canceled - I know those things happen, but we have so many other things to think about and finally get resolved to have the surgery and then boom - they cancel. I can't imagine how frightening that is - and how anxious that would make me. I had symptoms of having something wrong for about 3 years - but when I would go to the doctor he would say I was fine - you know men doctor's think our pains and fatigue are because we are women and don't get it. So after going to several doctors I figured they all must be right. I exercised, took vitamins, ate the right foods - but I was still tired all the time. I never felt like I slept when I got up in the morning. It wasn't a doctor who found out I had a bad aortic valve it was the home care PA who comes once a year for a wellness check up. (I have Humana Gold Plan Insurance) - the PA said to me you have a heart murmur!! I told her I couldn't have one because no one ever told me that before - I saw the same doctor for over 30 years and he didn't say anything. The rest of my story is on my other posts if you want to read the whole story. But the bottom line is I had to have heart surgery. No one was more surprised than me that I had anything wrong I had been biking for over 20 years up until 2 years ago when I needed to take care of my grand kids for my daughter when she was going thru a difficult divorce. This just couldn't be happening to me. Your fear and anxiety is normal....try to do some breathing exercises or if you can meditate or pray or go for walks - whatever it is that you find your happy place or where you find relaxation...this is not easy. If it weren't for my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His love for me I don't know how I could have done it. Rely on friends and family to be with you as much as possible at the hospital after surgery. My daughter stayed with me in the hospital and took shifts with my husband and I was never alone - I don't think I would be doing as well as I am right now had it not been for their love and support every minute of the day for the 6 days I was in the hospital. Support is important to every patient who is having major surgery...it made all the difference in the world to me. God bless. Keep us posted. Nancy

Hi Ronese, I can totally relate to what you are going through. My surgery was back in 2011 when I was 64 and I too was climbing the walls and having periods of feeling happy relieved that my heart issue would be finally take care of, and then I had many bouts of panic attacks and was pretty much living in a state of anxiety. EMDR therapy helped me a great deal, and as I got closer and closer to my surgery date, I became more calm. I think being a nurse and knowing all the things you know about medical procedures make it more difficult for you. There are numerous relaxation CDs you can listen to, which didn't do much to help my anxiety, but hey, give them a try. I wish I had some magic words for you, but there are none - or you've heard them all before. In retrospect, I realize that all the worrying and anxiety I experienced didn't help me one bit. And it also didn't change anything. I spent months overwhelmed with fear and anxiety and them 2-3-4 years following the surgery with serious depression and more anxiety and panic attacks. So do try to get yourself in a good place and go into your surgery feeling confident and hopeful. I will keep you in my prayers and am hoping for the very best possible outcome for you. Please keep in mind that most of these surgeries are incredibly successful, so the odds are certainly with you. Blessings and peace to you.